Confessions of a Professional NYC Trivia Host: There’s a Fine Line Between Humor & Insult

Prior to starting my own corporate team building company in NYC, I was a rather busy professional pub quiz host. For years, after finishing up a full day of work directing the adult education division at the 92nd Street Y, I was running off to emcee two different Manhattan bar trivia nights each week, plus one or two monthly events in Brooklyn; factor in the occasional private event or fund raiser, and we’re talking up to 10 or so pub quiz nights a month.

That’s a lot of pub quiz.

While I no longer have the time to host bar trivia nights all over town at such a strenuous pace – I’ve got a business to run now, plus am married with a new baby – I do still host a low-key pub quiz each week at a bar in midtown Manhattan. This is mostly to test out new material and keep up my chops as a quizmaster – even with close to 400 events under my belt, it’s important to me to keep on my toes, to ensure that my skills are fresh for our corporate trivia events. Plus, the bar loves having people playing trivia on an “off” night – and they’ve got great French fries.

I’ve since transitioned from pub quiz to trivia team building, but the core skill set for being an effective trivia event host remains the same. I don’t know if there are many other professional trivia hosts in NYC or elsewhere with as much experience as me, and over the years I’ve had the opportunity and good fortune to been able to consistently hone and refine what I do – including how I engage with the audience (one of the managers at my aforementioned pub quiz gig told me this week, “Dave, you’re the only guy I know who could get away with saying what you do to hecklers, without getting punched in the face.” I’ll take that as a compliment).

And yet still, I’m human, and mistakes can sometimes be made.

One such mistake I made about 2 years ago, while I was still the host of one of the most popular pub quiz nights in NYC (which I retired from last year to pursue TrivWorks). During the course of an evening of bar trivia, there are several distinct opportunities for quizmasters to inject humor into the event – one such opportunity is when reading out the intentionally funny wrong answers teams submit.

Midway through another packed event one evening, while scoring the answer sheets I came across one such intentionally wrong answer, to a question about the Virgin Mary; I can’t remember what it was today, but I do know that it was somewhat off-color, and made me laugh when I saw it. Thinking that the room would enjoy the humorous wrong answer as well, I made a point to include it when announcing the correct answers at the end of the round (ie: “Another funny answer to this question, though wrong, is…”). As anticipated, the room erupted in laughter; not one to let an opportunity for a quip slide, I threw in a deadpan, “That was awesome…” for good measure – resulting in even more laughter. Without a second’s thought, I moved right along and finished the event.

Had I been paying close attention, however, I would have noticed that it was nervous laughter. The next day, I got a most surprising Email from someone who had been in attendance. He told me that he had been coming to my trivia night for a long time and really enjoyed it, but that last night I’d crossed the line. The wrong answer about the Virgin Mary, which most of the crowd and I found so funny, had actually been quite insulting to him and his friends; my bonus “that was awesome” line only provided further insult. He went on to say how he and his team walked out of the event in disgust, vowing never to return.

I was horrified – yet boy, was I glad I got that Email.

Sometimes, we performers with microphones in our hands can’t see the forest through the trees; especially when it comes to humor, if our instinct is that something will be funny, and the audience responds well, then it’s funny, right?

Apparently not.

It took me all of two seconds to realize that the guy was 100% right; as the event host, I had failed in my fundamental responsibility to be thoughtful, considerate and respectful of all members of the audience, not just the ones who think I’m so darned funny. I wrote him back immediately with a sincere apology, which thankfully he accepted – he even looked forward to returning the following week. Yet the lesson learned for me as a trivia host was painfully, painfully clear.

There is a very fine line between humor and insult, and as illustrated by the above example, even an innocent remark can inadvertently thrust a trivia host over that line in a most offensive way. I have since made a conscious effort at each and every event I host to stop and think before I say anything – ANYTHING – which anyone in the room might find even remotely insulting, rude or inappropriate.

Lesson learned. Onward!

Have a great weekend, everybody! Will see you again on Monday.