Recognizing “Dadpreneurs” on Father’s Day

I celebrated my first Father’s Day yesterday, and as a self-employed new dad who works from home while taking care of a baby, I was eagerly looking forward to the holiday. In addition to a high-powered ear & nose hair trimmer (at my request – awesome), my incredible wife  made a special photo book entitled “Daddy’s Girl,” containing all photos of the baby and me, with special captions for each. How amazing!

Yet as I gazed bleary-eyed at my tiny SmartPhone screen at 4am this morning, feeding my 5-month-old daughter while scrolling through an article about entrepreneurial moms I began to feel pangs of frustration and jealously rumbling.

The plight of the “dadpreneur” has gone unnoticed once again.

As a male entrepreneur working hard to make a living while caring for an infant, I face my own unique set of challenges – ones which few people talk about, and even fewer can relate to. Ever since leaving the security of a full-time job last year directing adult education events at the 92nd Street Y to both play Mr. Mom run my NYC corporate team building company, I have simultaneously worn many hats: CEO, CMO, CFO, CDO (Chief Diaper Officer). At first glance, the daily grind of the stay-at-home dad/entrepreneur doesn’t look much different from that of my female counterpart: sleep deprivation, work distraction, a symphony of unwelcome sounds such as crying, musical toy jingles and more perpetually piercing my concentration. Without the luxury of a full-time nanny, I must juggle my professional workload around the unpredictable sleeping, feeding & mood schedule of an infant, while trying to keep myself from going completely insane inside an apartment as I shuffle endlessly between office and crib.

Yet despite the egalitarian times we live in, as a man I have a forceful instinct to be the primary provider for my family. Amidst a shaky economy, the real and perceived societal pressures I feel to support my loved ones have never been more intense, yet the passion which drove me to become my own boss in the first place is often hampered by demands for my attention throughout the day by the baby – who, despite being insanely cute, can be a tremendous drain on both my time and energy, ultimately limiting my productivity. With few dads around me in a similar situation, I lack a close a support network of peers; and despite things going extremely well businesswise, due to the cyclical nature of my industry there are inevitably those weeks when I don’t bring home as big a paycheck as my wife, a hardworking New York City public school teacher, does – a reality which, admittedly, wounds my male pride.

I realize that not every “momtrepreneur” has the financial security of a well-heeled hubby, and don’t for a second pretend to know the difficulties of working around a breastfeeding schedule, nor a physically / emotionally painful post-childbirth recovery. In fact, I would argue that as a self-employed, work-from-home dad, I have a unique appreciation and understanding of the difficulties entrepreneurial moms face in a way that few men do. But shouldn’t men serving as both primary breadwinner and caregiver receive their share of acknowledgement as well?

Then again, there is the upside, too – I get to stay at home with my baby every day of the week, a perk which very few hard-working fathers get to enjoy. I have officially anointed her my “intern,” and routinely dress her up in special onesies I ordered with my logo on them. I make sure that she appears regularly here on my company’s Website and social media, to many peoples’ delight – especially mine.

As I sat there this morning at the crack of daybreak, wiping spit-up from my SmartPhone keypad while gazing into my baby’s eyes, I reflected not on how hard this time has been but how special, and was reminded that the unique bond she and I have formed will have surely been worth it.

And you know what? That’s all the recognition I need.

To all the other new dads out there, I hope you had as special and memorable first Father’s Day as I did – feel free to share your story below!